Thursday, May 9, 2013

What would your suit do?

ironman


I finally went to see Iron Man 3 last week (which was RAD & should be seen by all). One of my favourite images was of the large variety of suits Tony Stark had built during some sleepless nights. Inevitably though, it sparked post-cinema pub debate.


So now I put it to the web: if you could make an Iron Man suit that did anything, what would it do?


We’ve seen different versions throughout the Marvel universe both on screen & on the page since the character first appeared back in 1963, from the original grey & gold suits through to the stealth suit, War Machine, Hulkbuster armour & Prometheus armour. As the conversation went on, I realised that the suits that had been created (and doubtless will continue to be created) by the geniuses at Marvel were at a level I could never hope to achieve in my mind.


They would also be almost entirely useless to me.  Having ablative armour that will protect me against parasitic alien life-forms would be cool, but ultimately not something I’m likely to need more than once in this lifetime. So what if we went the other way: the more mundane the suit the better.  Skyscraper Window Cleaner suit would be practical & fun, whilst Disco Iron Man would take club nights by storm.


So here are the first few ideas we had. Let us know what suit you’d build.


Disco Suit


  • Mirror ball head

  • Disco lights throughout body

  • Extra smooth joints for extra smooth moves

  • Speakers throughout suit

  • Fishbowl shoes

Beach Buddy Suit


  • Sunscreen dispensers & applicators

  • Biodegradable parasols

  • Dispensable water aids

  • Personal floatation device

  • Bucket head (multiple layers)

  • Spade arms (multiple loads; can also be used as projectiles)

  • Towel dispenser

  • Shower/hose/hairdryer arms

Babysitter Suit


  • Instant bottle maker/warmer

  • Nappy changing device

  • Nappy disposal unit

  • Extra soft arms to rock babies to sleep

  • Complete with pre-programmed lullabies & bedtime stories (with character voices)

Skyscraper Window Cleaner Suit


  • Controlled flight using feet only

  • Water jets

  • Cleaning solution jets

  • Buff & shine hand pads

Desert Survival Suit


  • Tan camouflage

  • Heat resistant

  • Converts sweat into drinkable water

  • Solar panels

Mr Whippy Suit


  • Ice cream jets

  • Flake dispenser (also work as projectiles)

  • Sauce jets

  • Sprinkles shots

  • Pre-programmed with traditional chimes

Recycling Suit


  • Auto-splits recycling
  • “Digests” materials & reduces to core elements

  • Releases gases into reusable canisters (fuel)

  • Ejects pellets to be built into new items


What would your suit do?

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