I finally went to see Iron Man 3 last week (which was RAD & should be seen by all). One of my favourite images was of the large variety of suits Tony Stark had built during some sleepless nights. Inevitably though, it sparked post-cinema pub debate.
So now I put it to the web: if you could make an Iron Man suit that did anything, what would it do?
We’ve seen different versions throughout the Marvel universe both on screen & on the page since the character first appeared back in 1963, from the original grey & gold suits through to the stealth suit, War Machine, Hulkbuster armour & Prometheus armour. As the conversation went on, I realised that the suits that had been created (and doubtless will continue to be created) by the geniuses at Marvel were at a level I could never hope to achieve in my mind.
They would also be almost entirely useless to me. Having ablative armour that will protect me against parasitic alien life-forms would be cool, but ultimately not something I’m likely to need more than once in this lifetime. So what if we went the other way: the more mundane the suit the better. Skyscraper Window Cleaner suit would be practical & fun, whilst Disco Iron Man would take club nights by storm.
So here are the first few ideas we had. Let us know what suit you’d build.
Disco Suit
- Mirror ball head
- Disco lights throughout body
- Extra smooth joints for extra smooth moves
- Speakers throughout suit
- Fishbowl shoes
Beach Buddy Suit
- Sunscreen dispensers & applicators
- Biodegradable parasols
- Dispensable water aids
- Personal floatation device
- Bucket head (multiple layers)
- Spade arms (multiple loads; can also be used as projectiles)
- Towel dispenser
- Shower/hose/hairdryer arms
Babysitter Suit
- Instant bottle maker/warmer
- Nappy changing device
- Nappy disposal unit
- Extra soft arms to rock babies to sleep
- Complete with pre-programmed lullabies & bedtime stories (with character voices)
Skyscraper Window Cleaner Suit
- Controlled flight using feet only
- Water jets
- Cleaning solution jets
- Buff & shine hand pads
Desert Survival Suit
- Tan camouflage
- Heat resistant
- Converts sweat into drinkable water
- Solar panels
Mr Whippy Suit
- Ice cream jets
- Flake dispenser (also work as projectiles)
- Sauce jets
- Sprinkles shots
- Pre-programmed with traditional chimes
Recycling Suit
- Auto-splits recycling
- “Digests” materials & reduces to core elements
- Releases gases into reusable canisters (fuel)
- Ejects pellets to be built into new items
What would your suit do?